How To Save Your Web App From A Hulk Smash - The Tech Assassin

How To Save Your Web App From A Hulk Smash

You pick up your phone.

The screen turns on. You’ve got 10% battery left.

Your thumb swipes down the fingerprint reader. The phone unlocks.

And then reboots. WTF?

Your face turns red. Your grip tightens around your phone.

You turn the side of your body to the nearest wall and friggin’ launch the piece of shit in your hand at the wall.


The screen is shattered.

Little bits of phone everywhere.

The fingerprint reader balances on the shoulder of your shirt.

And you have no phone. Time to find $400-$600 to buy a new one.

That’s the part that sucks. And that’s the only reason why I’ve never done it but I’ve imagined the hell out of doing it.

But there’s a simple fix to this little issue.

Most times, you can just factory-reset the stupid thing and it’ll be running perfectly again.

Sure that means finding 2 hours in your day to reinstall everything and configure it just how you need it but, other than that, it’s a simple solution.

Kinda like that slow web app you had built 2 years ago that is driving you and your clients insane.

They all get visions of picking up their laptops and flinging them across the room because of YOUR crappy web app.

And the solution is pretty simple here, too.

You just need a pro to come in and “factory reset” it. Maybe re-code parts of it to run a bit leaner. Maybe upgrade the server it’s on to be a bit faster. Maybe change the database system it uses for more efficient queries.

But if you just leave it like it is, eventually someone is going to launch a new app that isn’t so buggy and your clients will leave in droves.

If it’s time to “factory reset” your web app, contact me before someone smashes something.

About the author

Norio De Sousa

I'm a programmer who got tired of other programmers messing up your dreams. So I became an "Assassin For Hire" to save your day, clean up the mess others made, and get it working so you can get paid.