You: There are People Starving on my Website? - The Tech Assassin

You: There are People Starving on my Website?

Imagine a mouth-watering steak, with baked potatoes on the side and a rich, brown gravy poured over it. Got the picture in your head? Feeling hungry? Good… read on.

To get to that steak, there are some steps you have to take. You can’t just wish it into existence. The steps you need to take are called a recipe. You are the cook. And it takes TIME before you can go from deciding you want a steak to eating the damn thing.

Your website works a bit like that. Each page has a “recipe” or a set of steps that the cook (the server) has to perform in order to make and present the meal (your web page). And every time you look at a page on your website, it takes some TIME for all this to happen.

But you’re hungry. So you wanna eat faster. So to make sure you can eat sooner, you might pre-cook the meal and just re-heat it when you’re hungry, right?

That’s kinda how file-caching works on your website. The steps to make the page have all been done and the page is ready to be served from a file. No need to wait for “cooking”.

But the meal is stored in the kitchen and you’re in the lounge, so it still takes time for you to get up and go get it. And you’re dying of hunger. You don’t wanna walk to the kitchen. You need to eat NOW!

What if I told you there was a faster way to get your meal? What if I said you could just “imagine” the food and it would be there, in front of you, ready to enjoy?

Well, that doesn’t exist for food but it does exist for your website. Kinda…

It’s called “memory caching” and it works the same as “file caching” except that it’s like a gazillion times faster.

You see, file caching is fast but it’s like walking to the kitchen to pick up your ready-made meal. Memory caching is super-fast. It’s like imagining your meal and poof there it is in front of you.

Time to tuck in and enjoy.

Okay so now that you know how awesome memory caching is, you probably want it for your site, right?

What you need to do is install something called “Varnish” onto your server. Once that’s done, it kinda pretty much just works out the box.

But you’re probably not a technical guy (or gal) so you have 2 options:

  1. Hire someone like me to install Varnish for you so your site is crazy-fast. ($200 – $600)
  2. Sign up for HostGator WordPress Optimized hosting which includes Varnish – standard! ($30)

I used to set up my servers myself and install Varnish myself but it’s just so much damn easier to let HostGator deal with that crap so I can focus on my marketing.

If you value your time like I value mine, you might want to switch to HostGator’s New WordPress Hosting here and let them do the heavy-lifting:

HostGator’s business package for WordPress hosting is about $30 a month and includes 5 WordPress sites. All pre-configured to be stupid-fast. Stop starving your website visitors. Feed them fast! Sign up here:


About the author

Norio De Sousa

I'm a programmer who got tired of other programmers messing up your dreams. So I became an "Assassin For Hire" to save your day, clean up the mess others made, and get it working so you can get paid.